


Darkness

by Fred2gen



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 03, Season/Series 03 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 01:33:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5892985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fred2gen/pseuds/Fred2gen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy's thoughts on where Jasper is right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> A short exposition explaining Jasper from Bellamy's point of view. It was supposed to be the opening of a Bellarke fic, but with tomorrow being Thursday, I figured I'd wait to see what the writers actually do. I watched the 100 in three days on Netflix, and now I'm hooked. Waiting is torture.

Truth be told, Jasper probably shouldn't go out on missions. More truth, he should probably be confined to the medical bay and kept under constant supervision. One psychiatrist managed to make it down alive, and she evaluated the 43 who managed to get back to Arkadia. If Bellamy remembered correctly, her words to Chancellor Abby Griffin were, “The gaument of expectations have been reached and exceeded. If we were in a different time and place, I’d keep them all hospitalized for minimum of three months. We do not have the necessary resources, so I must sign off on their work clearances. I will meet with them as often as I can, but restarting a society has certain consequences. The only one I am hesitant to sign off on is Jasper. I must, because of our lack of resources, but in a different place and time, I wouldn't.”

They had survived two great battles, and only they knew what horrors they’d experienced in Mount Weather. They’d been fighting for their life every day for a year. Of course they’d experience P.T.S.D. and survivor's remorse, along with a thousand other battle scars seen and unseen. The hope was, creating a routine daily life would give them purpose and a reason for living. The only one it didn't seem to be helping was Jasper.

Abby, Kane, and every high ranking guardsman told Bellamy to assign Jasper to another unit. He should be standing post at the gate, or better yet, doing anything but having access to guns. Bellamy wondered if he was less sympathetic, but was actually going soft. He understood where everybody was coming from, but Bellamy knew something they didn't. 

Bellamy wished he could drink himself into oblivion. He killed at least 600 people, and he wasn't even 25. He was a murderer, and the only person who made him feel like he wasn't had run off. She was gone, and even though Octavia was there, Bellamy was alone. Octavia was in love, and though Bellamy never thought it was a possibility, an old truth was proving itself. Siblings were best friends, protectors and secret keepers until the day someone else stepped into that place. She would always love him, but now Lincoln was the most important person in her life. Bellamy had found someone else important to him, and she was gone. Octavia was someone else's responsibility, and Clarke was gone. Bellamy was alone, and that left him open to the darkness.

He found someone who tried to distract him, and having a purpose gave him strength. He didn't need to drink himself into oblivion, but he understood Jasper. He understood Jasper didn't drink only because of Maya. Jasper drank so the other 42 who had seen hell could live. Jasper drank so the adults who had fallen out of space and then fought for their children, could walk in hope. Jasper drank so Bellamy didn't have to miss Clarke. Jasper lived in the darkness so everyone else could walk in the light. 

That was why Bellamy kept Jasper on his team. Jasper did the stupid things so Bellamy could think straight. The moment Jasper wasn't there keeping Bellamy on his toes, Bellamy did something stupid. Bellamy didn't have his guard up, and he’s lost Clarke. This time he could only blame himself.


End file.
